Books criticised for “teaching from the front”

Leading educationalists have called for the removal of books from Britain’s schools on the grounds that their use has “potentially catastrophic implications for the progress of young learners”. The comment, from Maureen Bismark, lecturer in Child Acquiescence at the University of Carterton, comes in the wake of a fierce parliamentary debate in which Culture Secretary Jed Lennox accused the Prime Minster of being “soft as shite on books”. There was laughter from the back benches when the PM admitted “I like Ian McEwan”.

The current campaign against books is based on the fears of growing number of parents who are concerned that their children are passively absorbing facts and knowledge from books while the books in question sit limply on laps or tables. When pressed on the issue Bismark explained that “books, at best, are nothing more than a convenient method of transferring complex ideas and a huge body of knowledge and learning built up over centuries to potentially any human being on the planet”. She added that “Books do not have any place in 21^st century learning and are useless to our children who are now participants in an exciting global economy”. 

Campaigners from the parents’ pressure group BOOKSFUCKKIDS have also criticised the publishing industry for “profiting from the naivety of our most vulnerable citizens while operating in a system with zero checks or balances”.

BOOKSFUCKKIDS will be co-ordinating a number of demonstrations outside Hodder, Pearson and Heinemann publishers this Saturday at 8.00 am. 

An academy in Stevenage disposes of its books. Its corporate sponsor is to supply all students with tablet devices.